Dear Friends,

In today’s Gospel, Forgiveness is presented as a gift given to us from the gracious generosity of God that should elicit gratitude and the following of His example in our relationships with others. Our ability to forgive insures that we do not allow cynicism, complaining and negativity to turn us into monsters. Allow me to share an edited version of a modern twist on the matter of Forgiveness as presented in an article from the Mayo Clinic (November 2014) titled, “Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness.”

The words of St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross quoted above are those of a young agnostic Jewish woman who came to Christianity through her intellectual pursuit of truth and meaning through the study of Philosophy. Edith Stein became a Catholic and was drawn to become a Carmelite nun. She was arrested and sent to Auschwitz to be martyred in the gas chambers. To some, her life and death may seem to have been a waste, or would have been more fruitful if she had survived; but to those with faith, her life gives witness to the fact that academic prowess and spiritual surrender can coexist in the mind and heart of a serious and mature person. Moreover, her life testifies to the fact that, even in the midst of horrible and incomprehensible suffering and terror, faith alone gives life meaning.

In today’s Gospel, Forgiveness is presented as a gift given to us from the gracious generosity of God that should elicit gratitude and the following of His example in our relationships with others. Our ability to forgive ensures that we do not allow cynicism, complaining, and negativity to turn us into monsters. Allow me to share an edited version of a modern twist on the matter of Forgiveness as presented in an article from the Mayo Clinic (November 2014) titled, “Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness.”

WHAT IS FORGIVENESS? Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING SOMEONE? Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships; Greater spiritual and psychological well-being; Less anxiety, stress and hostility; Lower blood pressure; Fewer symptoms of depression; Stronger immune system; Improved heart health and higher self-esteem.

WHY IS IT SO EASY TO HOLD A GRUDGE? When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF HOLDING A GRUDGE? If you're unforgiving, you might: Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience; Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present; Become depressed or anxious; Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs; or Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

HOW DO I REACH A STATE OF FORGIVENESS? Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might: Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time; Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being; Actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you, when you're ready; and Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

WHAT IF THE PERSON I'M FORGIVING DOESN'T CHANGE? Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life — by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life.

WHAT IF I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS FORGIVENESS? The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how those wrongs have affected others. At the same time, avoid judging yourself too harshly. You're human, and you'll make mistakes. If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done, consider admitting it to those you've harmed. … without making excuses. Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever the outcome, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

Be of good cheer, have a blessed week!

Msgr. Grous